Monday, September 3, 2018

Prima Materia



Love is the highest power and the origin of infinite potential.

It draws the moon out to sing its siren song to the earthly waters, only to encourage the sun to rise and warm us in turn. Without fail, without falter.

Love shows up in everything. Love is a faith that requires no consensus and no steeple.

You can't be wrong when you act in love. Love is the prima materia. The base emotion, the inseparable core of the atom. It pulses and promises in everything. It holds the door open, it's the white light in the distance.

Love includes hurting, sometimes suffering, likewise grief. Love is ineffable yet accute. It cannot waiver, it doesn't even know how. It dreams in water color and wakes in black and white. Love is a decision made over and over again with complete conviction.

Love cannot be separate from anything, but it can exist without cause. Love is the big bang. All realities are simultaneous, occurring on a co-creating plane, extending beyond recognition and perception. A forever we cannot even grasp. Love knows.

Love spreads and enlivens with every energetic exchange. We are charged and ignited, whether in ecstasy or loss. Love never dies.

Love creates softness and tenderness, sometimes too raw to touch. It is the original alchemy that transforms us, melting our layers to expose an innate is-ness underneath: The primary essence of who we are. The strength we possess and can call upon in the darkest of times and the worst losses. We find that under everything, we are a miracle of love.

You never know how much love you have to give until you're cracked open. You won't know how much you can love someone until you see them suffer and ENDURE, crawling through the worst things that can happen, irrationally surviving. Amazing you. Your love will expand ten fold beyond any capability or compartment you can conceive of logically.

 I love my friends and family more for their suffering. Those words seem disturbing, as we aren't acquainted with this concept in our society. We often separate ourselves from things (such as death) that are uncomfortable, threatening, and out of our control. Yet bearing witness to the hurt and loss of people who I adore has awakened a love in me that reminds me what I am made of. My prima materia.  These past few months have been a painful time for people I am close to, suffering unbearable losses, and that has submitted me to the lesson of true love. I didn't know it was possible to love them more than I already did. I thought I loved them so hard before.

Recent events have reminded me too, of something I already learned a long time ago; My friends may well be the greatest loves of my life. I'll never give up the romantic notion of finding a mate for my soul, but I feel I already have a few who I could never conceivably exist without. Perhaps along the course of evolution we have become so enamored by the idea of all encompassing romantic love that we have forgotten the constant : Our tribe is our chosen family, and the love we learn to hold space for with them is the absolute best thing about being alive.

The beauty that propels me forward in the worst of times is this: You can always love deeper. It's a simple and profound fact. There are oceans of love left to experience in your lifetime and beyond-

"..The gift at the heart of his defining wound.." -Gregg Levoy

Some recent trips outdoors:

One of my dearest ladies, Anna -On the way to Snow Lake-


Fog or smoke or smoky fog orrrr....
Lower South Fork of the Skokomish River. No smoke!
Stoked on the Skok' ! My Dad
Lovely Sheep Lake at Mt. Rainier
Sheep Lake from Sourdough Gap